"Something told me to check his email and there it was - evidence that my husband had an online relationship with one of my friends. I was stunned by the flirting and flattery. They both insisted they were innocent and I was the one with the problem. But I know unfaithfulness when I experience it."

Over the past few years, Chuck and I have listened to women share too many of these stories. They go like this: A wife has a sixth sense that her husband is emotionally involved with another woman. He denies any wrong-doing. She feels guilty for suspecting him but can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. Then an instant message meant for her husband crosses the computer when she's online or she "accidentally" stumbles on email or text messages that reveal a familiarity that feels invasive and unsettling. Her husband and his online pal usually deny any wrong-doing, protesting that they are just friends. He refuses to end the communication, claiming his wife is possessive, obsessive and needs to grow up. As terrific as email and online communication is, there is a downside that can start out innocently yet slowly begins a slippery slope into emotional adultery and sometimes continues into physical adultery with the end result of destroyed marriages.

How do you know if you're the other woman or in danger of becoming the other woman in this tech-based emotional adultery? Honestly answer these questions:

• Do you check your email frequently, hoping to see his name?
  
• Do you regularly glance at your instant message buddies to see if he's online?
  
• Does your stomach flutter when you see his name?
• Do you open his email before you open anyone else's?
• Do you look for excuses to "stop by his electronic desk," sending quick messages, hoping to engage him in a longer conversation?
• Do you try to catch him online, instant messaging throughout the day or night?
• If you're married, can your husband access your email at any time?
• Would you be embarrassed if your husband read the emails you are exchanging with the other man? What about the other man's wife?
• Would a friend who knows you well pick up on the emotional undercurrent of your communications?
• Do you get up in the middle of the night to see if he's sent you a message?
• When you're online, do you listen for your husband so you can hide emails or instant messaging from him?
• Would you telephone him for the same reason you're instant messaging, i.e. just to chat or catch up? What if his wife answered the call?
• Would you be comfortable with his wife knowing you're "talking" to her husband at 1 o'clock in the morning, 11 o'clock at night or throughout the day?
  
  Sadly, technology has given us the freedom to jump from a casual relationship into intimacy very quickly. Sisters, think carefully about the lives you are destroying with such a casual attitude toward another sister's marriage. Next time we'll talk about how women get into these relationships and how to get out of them.

  What are your thoughts? Are you or have you been the online "other woman?" With what results? Your mistakes and lessons learned might help another woman stop her downward emotional adultery slide before it causes grave sorrow in another woman's life.

  Until next time - may you experience the treasure of God's presence as you walk by faith today.

  In His Grip,
  Sharon