Grief is war. I started to respond to some of the comments to my previous post and decided to make my remarks a blog entry. Thank you to Bev, Donna and Jeannie. When I wrote about choosing life in the darkness, I started to add a "disclaimer" because I don't want women who are struggling to walk by faith to feel less faithful because of any words I write. This choice to celebrate life comes through blood, sweat and tears and I am sometimes shocked by the supernatural strength God gives us to make such hard choices. For my sisters who are deep and fresh in grief, struggling to walk by faith in broken places, trying to offer encouragement to family and friends who have been thrown into the throes of sorrow, soak in 2 Peter 1:3 - 10. I camped in this passage in my own grief journey and just this morning God took me back to it because of the waves of sorrow that crash over me unexpectedly, especially at this time of year. On those days when I could barely get out of bed, God reminded me through this passage that He had given me everything I need to reflect redemption. And so, by faith and His strength, I put one foot on the floor, sometimes crawling, but still moving, and forced myself to trust that promise. He exhorts me to extend every effort to add to my faith specific character qualities. And then he exclaims that if I lack these qualities as a child of God, I am near-sighted, seeing only what is in front of me (death, disease, calamity, spilled milk, broken relationships, disobedient children, traffic jams, etc.) and I have become oblivious to the fact that I am a daughter of the King, cleansed from sin. Go back and re-read that sentence. When I struggle to trust Him and get stuck in sin, I see only the struggle in front of me, I forget whose I am and what my Father has done for me. So when I am stuck in my sorrow or sin and I wonder why it's so hard, Peter challenges me to remember the love of God that has cleansed me from sin and to remember who I am in Jesus. Again, a disclaimer, this is not easy. Sometimes it is minute by minute, no, second by second, choosing by faith to trust the precious promises Peter mentions in this passage. For those who are fresh in grief, don't beat yourself up over how hard this pathway is. It is like being in a meat grinder or having major surgery without anesthesia. Grief is a marathon of hard, hard labor. At first when I felt pushed into the abyss, I was terrified because I was afraid I would never climb back out. I learned that the hard periods grow shorter. Fifteen years later, I am surprised every "anniversary" when the tears won't stop. How can it be that I haven't talked to my youngest child in fifteen years? It's outrageous. Choosing life is harder on some days than others. Grief is war and the sacrifices of praise are often covered with blood, sweat and tears. Chuck often said that we were like two wounded soldiers trying to help each other crawl off the battle field. Wounded sisters, listen to this wounded veteran of the Grief War who walks with an obvious limp. Fight the despair and depression. Get up out of bed and move. Choose life and know that you are in His grip. He will never let you go.

In His grip with you,
Sharon