Encouragement in the Wilderness of Suffering - Part 1
Related Categories: Grief,Encouragement
I just learned of a horrific accident that took the life of a ten year old boy. His mother and sister are injured but will survive. This family desperately needs their friends and family to surround them with the hope and courage that only faith in Christ can give. I don't know this family but I can guarantee that their friends and family are feeling completely helpless to offer that hope and help this morning.
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In every Q & A session I have during a conference, someone describes an accident like this and then asks, "How can we help this family?" And vignettes from the hours after the
death of our son, Mark, and his friend, Kelly, flash in my soul, one gut-wrenching picture after another.
But fast-forward far enough and I begin to see the treasures of encouragement that God sent through His people to help turn our hearts toward Him. In my book, Treasures of Encouragement, I list things to not say and do as well as what to say and do. Below are things NOT to say and do. In my next post I'll list things TO say and do. If you don't need this list now, you will, so feel free to copy it and tuck it away for future ministry. Better yet, get a copy of Treasures of Encouragement, Women Helping Women in the Church and learn how thinking biblically prepares you to encourage others to trust God in the darkness.
From Treasures of Encouragement, pages 191 - 192:
A sensitive heart does not say:
~I understand.
~Call me if you need me.
~You can have more children, get married again, fill your life with other things, etc.
~I don't know what to do. (And then prove it by doing nothing.)
~God needed him more than you.
~God must really love you to put you through this.
~You have to get on with your life.
~Don't cry.
~Be strong!
A sensitive heart does not...
~Try to be always cheerful.
~Try to explain why.
~Think her grieving friend is crazy.
~Compare losses.
What's your encouragement story?
Next: What a sensitive heart will say and do.
Until then, may you experience God's special presence as you offer your friend the treasures of His encouragement.
In His grip,
Sharon
The caring thoughts that were thought but never shared...
The times of concern felt but never relayed...
The what ifs, the I should haves, and I shouldn’t haves...
A precious life has come and gone in a flash yet touched the lives of many...
Even more so than some who have lived a life-time...
The whys, how comes, and it can’t be...
The flood of emotion not to be understood but to be embraced...
The regrets for what has been and what has not...
Must it take such a tragedy to bring mankind to their knees to realize what is truly important...
Is this merely a momentary change in mannerisms or a true change in being...
The sacrifice of such a precious life must give call to a higher purpose...
Will the higher purpose be embraced or dismissed...
To care without sharing lends itself to nothingness...
The caring will then continue without truly serving a purpose...
Maybe even the ‘higher purpose’ intended...
I can’t say that I truly understand the full impact that event had on my life nor do I understand why I was chosen to be part of such a significant life-changing event, but, I can say without hesitation that if you find yourself in a similar circumstance. ‘Don’t shy away from it out of fear! Embrace it!’ I still don’t always say the ‘right thing’ in such circumstances; however, I also don’t say a lot of the wrong things that I might have previously said largely in-part to your book Sharon. In fact, more often than not I find myself stepping outside my comfort zone more and more as the years go by which we are all instructed to do.
Sharon - Although I never knew Mark I am blessed with knowing you and your family now. Every year, particularly when certain key dates come and go, despite most often being accompanied with a soft smile, your eyes tell a very different story. Although it continues to be unbearable seeing the pain in your eyes, as well as in your family’s eyes, Thank You for maintaining your transparency even now! I pray that others, including myself, continue to faithfully come along side you and your family as God calls them to do so. With much love…