Alzheimer's and Ever Growing, Ever Green
Related Categories: Aging
"We had to put locks on the outside of my mother's bedroom door...she wandered outside last night..."
This was my first contact with a family impacted by Alzheimer's. I was a young pastor's wife and I couldn't 
fathom his mother behaving in such a way. She was a godly, older woman, gentle and kind. She lived with her son and his wife and her family clearly adored her. The next time I saw her, I could see the fear in her eyes. She looked lost. What happened to God's promise that faithful older people would bear fruit in their old age? Ever growing, ever green? Not to me.
The woman sitting in Chuck's office cried as she described the dark cloud over her soul. Depression gripped her heart and she was desperate for help. This woman was one of God's precious daughters: godly, mature, mentor to many, married to a difficult man. Chuck gave her an assignment designed to help turn her heart toward the Lord and to get her emotions under control. A month later, she returned in worse shape than in her initial meeting. After a careful conversation and observing physical symptoms, Chuck concluded that her depression was not spiritual but medically induced. He sent her to the best specialists he could find to test her for anything that could cause depression. The diagnosis stunned us: Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Again, what about God's promise to aging believers? How could this diagnosis be God's definition of bearing fruit in old age? Ever growing, ever green? Not to me.
Though young people are not exempt from such diagnoses, older people are more prone to Alzheimer's, heart disease, cancer, Parkinson's Disease, broken bones, dementia. Getting rid of wrinkles and brown spots, thinning hair, and creaky bones take a back seat to the ravages of aging when a diagnosis of such magnitude takes front stage in our lives.
In the context of extreme physical limitations, what do we make of God's promise:
The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the 
Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him." Psalm 92:12 - 15
Whenever I teach Bible study where young women are present I always challenge them with these words, "If you don't want to be a bitter, angry woman when you're old and gray, make choices now to choose Christ, to feed His spirit in you. Don't think you can wait until you're old to learn how to be kind, gentle, and content. Godliness is hard work. Choosing to reflect Christ in difficult times requires emotional and spiritual energy. Older people often complain that they have little energy compared to the days of their youth. Many older people don't bother trying to be godly because it's too much work and they don't really care what people think about them any more. Choose righteousness while you have the energy!"
I am struck by the closing proclamation of the ever-growing, ever green passage in Psalm 92: They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright, he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him."
Perhaps God's view of fruit bearing is different than ours. A virus attacked my mother's heart when she was in her early sixties. Before her diagnosis of life-threatening congestive heart failure and cardio myopathy, she was a hands on grandmother, ready to go sledding, biking, and physically interact with her many 
grandchildren. She worked in the family business and enjoyed mentoring young girls in her church. Suddenly she was not allowed to even kiss her grandchildren for six months because of the possibility of infection. She struggled with a new definition of bearing fruit in old age and staying fresh and green. As a grandmother of fourteen, I am only just beginning to grasp her deep sorrow and disappointment over God's plans for her remaining years on this earth. But in our minds, our mother left this world with a fresh and green spirit and she repeatedly proclaimed in her dying moments, "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." In her physical weakness, she saw the goodness of the Lord in her life.
Who better than an old woman or an old man to proclaim with confidence, "The Lord is upright, he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him." Who better than those who have lived long lives and walked rocky pathways filled with potholes and hidden terrors? Who better than those of us in this winter of life to proclaim from life experiences, "My God is sovereign and you can trust Him. I say this, because I know from experience, He is my Rock and there is no wickedness in Him."
And because of His past faithfulness, I can trust Him with whatever days I have left to proclaim His goodness, whether from a bed of physical affliction like my mother or in the context of unusual physical health and strength like my 84-year-old father.
I pray He gives me strength to be ever growing ever green, no matter what pathway He has marked out for me.
In His Grip,
Sharon
This post made me thoughtful, because this is a subject I think about pretty often for someone my age (I'll be 36 next week). So many things have happened to me in this short time where God could have taken me Home but I am still here - a lesson for me and my family in the soverignity of God. When I am put in the cardiac floor of the hospital with the older generation or when my health problems acquire for me "senior benefits" (I will be riding the senior shuttle to cognitive therapy next week!), I joke that I am a 36 year old young lady with an 80 year old body! These experiences have given me both reason and time to think about how I am living my life in light of eternity. God could choose to take me Home tonight or when I am an elderly woman - but either way I very, very much want what I have learned in His classroom here on Earth to influence how I live my life and how I die. I want both living and dying to glorify Him. I want these experiences I have had to have their beneficient effect on me and on those I come in contact with - even to the point where I am within a breath of Heaven. And now, while I am here. This reminds me of an experience I had when I was working in a store during a brief "good spell" in my health: an older gentleman approached the counter where I was at and looked at me and exclaimed (before I had even said a word to him): "Oh, this is a GOOD ONE!" (meaning me). What a welcome! And how much more of a welcome will I receive when I cross over into Glory!
This is a very moving blog, Sharon, and you have stirred my heart once again. It is hard to see how disease hits our friends, in ways we never expected and the isolation factor only makes the road tougher; where is their church family they may ask? Another note worthy of mention is something you, Sharon, taught in Bible Studies for years: how do you want to be remembered? Miserable, grumpy and contrary, argumentative, demanding? Or the way God calls us to be remembered that He laid out in the Bible? A gentle, quiet spirit these days seems to be a thing of the past. Call me whatever you'd like, but I see too many of our women not listening with an ear for change. Even sadder is seeing how many women do not even bring their Bibles to church anymore, this is a gripping indicator of trouble! My spiritual leaders would have never put up with this from me years ago! Often I want to scream "Get up! Wake up Sisters, your house is burning down!" Its still all about us; meanwhile someone's bathroom could be cleaned for them, or a visit made with a basket of muffins that could bring a warm smile to someone who may not be able to hear anymore but would love to see someone read scripture to them, and far too many spiritual needs go unmet. Do we women even know how many lonely people there are in the world around us, or even in the pews every Sunday? Are we too old and grumpy to stick out a hand and smile? Are we simply techno-minded that hands-on ministry has taken a sad back-seat? Sometimes it only takes a hand outstretched and a smile, maybe a tissue, or some gasoline, a telephone. While I understand the seasons of life can dictate, indeed it is a crushing thing to know of physical limitations God has placed on us at times in our lives; how well I am reminded of the sadness of this in my journals, but then in the red ink I read how God really did have another plan, but it was often unrecognizable at the time, and not welcomed! We must not stop there. Our limitations may only be for a season, how encouraging is that? Perhaps they are life-long, perhaps the limitations are on a hiatus and will return again, but we can still make a difference precisely where we are, just as God calls us to, pressing on in every storm and not to take our eyes off of Jesus, but we must open our Bibles first. Oh mercy, Sharon, you have struck a good nerve here! May we grow gray graciously tough, ever pushing one another to go, go, go for Jesus!
Ah, here I am in my sixties surrounded by new ideas and changes that my mind wants to embrace (some of them, NOT all of them) and yet a mental block that is worse than a brick wall! Where did that mental block come from in a person who has been flexible all her life? I see the changes in my appearance outwardly, yet inwardly, I am still that 18 year old girl, full of life who wants to go everywhere and do everything (except go out on the glass floor over the Grand Canyon!) Why not now? The back refuses to be flexible, overwhelming tiredness keeps me from experiencing those treks to new places, and I say to the Lord, "so you still want to teach me perseverence?" The movie "The Bucket List" is a good teacher for us to never give up trying and finding new things to do. God is so good, the teaching never stops, the learning is always heady and challenging, and I am reminded that though those sweet young things may draw the attention of many, the pruning God has done in me through the years has made me more compassionate and less judgmental, giving others the benefit of the doubt instead of criticizing them, accepting others for who they are are and loving them for their differences from me. I am kinder quicker, more gentle now, more patient with unlovely people (I hope they are with me!) I only wish I had been a wiser more discerning parent with the wisdom God has given me through the years when I was in my 20s! Thanks Sharon,I loved this provocative article and Michelle and Kathy, how astute you are! Obviously we are all influenced by this age of youth in our culture. May we survive with God's perspective alive in us :)!
Oh, Kathy, you make me think! First, when you mentioned Sharon talking about "How do you want to be remembered? Grumpy, etc. or with a gentle and quiet spirit?" OK, I have a lot of hospital stories. Maybe they'll start thinking I'm an employee and start paying me when I'm there! lol Anyway, I got my records for my stay last fall when I had a massive post traumatic migraine where they had me utterly medicated with stuff they give to, like, people who are terminal. And then I couldn't walk once my headache went away. I was getting anxious and grumpy about this whole situation and in the notes in my records it said I was "Pleasant"! Of all the ridiculous things! I was miserable...but pleasantly so. Actually Clint said this to me tonight, you can't walk well, but you're awfully pleasant. The other point of isolation. I have tasted this over the last 2 years. Don't like it. BUT have learned very important lessons there. AND being in the hospital so much I am with older people and really very sick people and, oh, my. Compared to what I have seen I am not isolated. Oh, dear, my roommate that fall was a lady who had a stroke and was on a ventilator (I guess?) she had that thing in he neck to breathe and she couldn't talk or move much. She had one visitor the whole time I was with her and other than that she had nurses in and out all the time and nursing students learning on her. In my drug induced haze I felt so bad for her. But we crossed stretchers in the hall coming and going from tests and I caught her eye...she was in there. As a Mom of a child with an austim spectrum disorder I can tell when someone who can't communicate with you is in there. They are "stuck" inside in a way. But I knew she was in there even if all she had were nursing students and the OT lady. When I was coherent I had Clint read me Psalm 23 (this is a hit with all the old ladies I am in the hospital with...they memorized it when they were children) and I had him read it a little louder and I could feel peace eminating from the other side of the curtian. I knew my roommate was listening and for that moment she was comforted and had peace. When they moved me to another floor I asked the nursing assistant to tell that lady that I thought she was a nice lady and I was glad to have her for a roommate. I don't know if she did. But I prayed for that lady while I was there. Sometimes I wonder where she is now and if anyone is visiting her. It's funny where God puts people isn't it? Here I am wanting to run the race of the young Mom and instead I am reading Psalm 23 and praying with old ladies in hospitals and learning to accept my limitations by taking the bus with "those disabled people." Clint and I laughed over this...I just happen to be riding that bus, it's everyone else on it that has a disability! Oh, boy! God's giving me some good schoolin' isn't He?!
