Difficult Family Gatherings

So you're dreading your traditional family gathering because one thing you can count on is that your relatives will not behave in a way that creates a peaceful, laughter filled day.

Family dynamics are difficult even in the best of relationships. One of the best pieces of advice I heard years ago was to recognize that the verbally obnoxious uncle, or already inebriated cousin or bitter sister will most likely behave exactly the same way they did last year. They have no plans of changing so that you will enjoy a "Hallmark Card" kind of holiday. Accept that they are wounded and their wounds are worse during the holidays. Refuse to take responsibility for changing them.

Prepare for "war" by arming yourself with God's Word. Spend time in Psalm 15 before attending. Jot down God's perspective on how to respond to a wounded person or a difficult family member. Some of my thoughts from this passage:

Do what is righteous.
Speak truth from your heart.
Speak no slander. (don't get pulled into gossip)
Do not offend your family member by doing wrong.
Do not throw verbal mud.
Honor and respect one another.
Push every behavior through the grid of God's glory

If in spite of all your efforts to avoid conflict, you are drawn in, remember and live out the truths of Proverbs 15:

Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15, 4, 7 - Use your words as a life-giving force.
Proverbs 15: 14 - Seek facts, respond to facts, not drama.
Proverbs 15:18 - Be patient and calm a quarrel.
Proverbs 15:21 - Stay on topic. No rabbit trails.
Proverbs 15:28 - Think before speaking.
Proverbs 15:31 - Be open to life-giving rebuke.
Proverbs 15:33 - Humility comes before honor.

May we experience God's special presence this holiday weekend in a way that offers help and hope to hurting people.

In His grip,

Sharon