"Do you have Grammy?" Katie didn't want me to get left behind. Our family of 21 was piled into several cars to head to Downtown Disney and everyone in my car laughed out loud at eleven-year-old Katie's question. But Katie's serious and obvious concern started me thinking about how our grands might view us (OLD and needing oversight?).

The next day we experienced every parent's nightmare when one of our six year old twinnies melted into the Disney crowds and was missing for an eternity (at least five minutes). Some of the cousins cried tears of relief along with the adults when we saw her walking toward her Mommy. After that terrifying experience, not one of the thirteen cousins objected when their parents demanded they stay close and connected to at least one adult. For the next few days all of us counted heads. During one of those counting moments, nine-year-old Mollie seriously remarked, "I'm keeping my eye on Grammy!"

Again, all the adults laughed because she sounded like a mommy watching a child. If you're familiar with any of my worldview, you know I am passionate about legacy and passing on a biblical view to our children and grandchildren. So I know our grands are watching us, but watching out for us? Mollie's comment started me thinking again about how I viewed my grandparents at this age. From my childhood and teen seasons of life, they looked OLD! (I also thought my parents were very old and now I know they were actually very young.) Do our grands see me as that old? I think so. And do I really need someone to keep an eye on me? Well, maybe on some days.

A few days earlier our son Chuck and I exchanged views on Florida snowbirds (retirees who escape to warm climates during winter months). I remarked that I sometimes feel depressed when we arrive at the Ft. Myers Airport in Florida because all I see are old people. I'm sad because I know this is where I'm heading. (See, I don't think I'm one of them yet!) And I don't like it. The sea of white hair, wheelchairs and sometimes hobbling, bent over adults confront me with my struggle to reconcile God's view of aging with L'Oreal's marketing scheme:

God's view just doesn't square with my body's view of aging as in "help me get off the floor, please." Maybe that's why our grandchildren think I need to be watched over!

Son Chuck's different take on this sea of aging humanity was different than mine: "Well, they actually encourage me because they are active, they aren't giving up on life, they seem to be enjoying it. Something fun to look forward to."

Wow. The grid through which we view life is everything. I don't see myself as old. Maybe I'm a young old. Maybe 62 is the new 52. I have periods when my life feels busier now than when I was raising four children. Opportunities for ministry in this season of life are more than I have hours in my day to accomplish. And as long as I get my Happy Hour (afternoon nap), I'm good to go!

Back to being watched over by our grandchildren. As Chuck and I walked into Hollywood Studios with 3 of them, Mollie pointed out the Sorcerer's Hat and said, "Mommy and Daddy told us that if we get separated from them, to come to the Sorcerer's Hat and they would find us." I smiled and asked, "Are you telling me that so that if you get lost, I'll know where to find you or are you worried about me getting lost?" Mollie smiled mischievously and replied, "I'm just saying..."

I'm thinking that our grands are not just watching us live life, they are now watching out for us. I like it.

In His Grip,
Sharon

A few months ago I wrote a few posts on aging and promised more. Then I discovered an article by Susan Fiske in By Faith Onlne. She captured everything that I wanted to say only better than I could have ever said it. Her research is discouraging; her conclusions are encouraging. If like me, you struggle to find your way through the aging maze of our culture, check out Susan Fiske's article Her words challenge and convict me. I hope they do the same for you.

In His Grip,
Sharon

"We had to put locks on the outside of my mother's bedroom door...she wandered outside last night..."

This was my first contact with a family impacted by Alzheimer's. I was a young pastor's wife and I couldn't fathom his mother behaving in such a way. She was a godly, older woman, gentle and kind. She lived with her son and his wife and her family clearly adored her. The next time I saw her, I could see the fear in her eyes. She looked lost. What happened to God's promise that faithful older people would bear fruit in their old age? Ever growing, ever green? Not to me.

The woman sitting in Chuck's office cried as she described the dark cloud over her soul. Depression gripped her heart and she was desperate for help. This woman was one of God's precious daughters: godly, mature, mentor to many, married to a difficult man. Chuck gave her an assignment designed to help turn her heart toward the Lord and to get her emotions under control. A month later, she returned in worse shape than in her initial meeting. After a careful conversation and observing physical symptoms, Chuck concluded that her depression was not spiritual but medically induced. He sent her to the best specialists he could find to test her for anything that could cause depression. The diagnosis stunned us: Lou Gehrig's Disease.

Again, what about God's promise to aging believers? How could this diagnosis be God's definition of bearing fruit in old age? Ever growing, ever green? Not to me.

Though young people are not exempt from such diagnoses, older people are more prone to Alzheimer's, heart disease, cancer, Parkinson's Disease, broken bones, dementia. Getting rid of wrinkles and brown spots, thinning hair, and creaky bones take a back seat to the ravages of aging when a diagnosis of such magnitude takes front stage in our lives.

In the context of extreme physical limitations, what do we make of God's promise:

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him." Psalm 92:12 - 15

Whenever I teach Bible study where young women are present I always challenge them with these words, "If you don't want to be a bitter, angry woman when you're old and gray, make choices now to choose Christ, to feed His spirit in you. Don't think you can wait until you're old to learn how to be kind, gentle, and content. Godliness is hard work. Choosing to reflect Christ in difficult times requires emotional and spiritual energy. Older people often complain that they have little energy compared to the days of their youth. Many older people don't bother trying to be godly because it's too much work and they don't really care what people think about them any more. Choose righteousness while you have the energy!"

I am struck by the closing proclamation of the ever-growing, ever green passage in Psalm 92: They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright, he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him."

Perhaps God's view of fruit bearing is different than ours. A virus attacked my mother's heart when she was in her early sixties. Before her diagnosis of life-threatening congestive heart failure and cardio myopathy, she was a hands on grandmother, ready to go sledding, biking, and physically interact with her many grandchildren. She worked in the family business and enjoyed mentoring young girls in her church. Suddenly she was not allowed to even kiss her grandchildren for six months because of the possibility of infection. She struggled with a new definition of bearing fruit in old age and staying fresh and green. As a grandmother of fourteen, I am only just beginning to grasp her deep sorrow and disappointment over God's plans for her remaining years on this earth. But in our minds, our mother left this world with a fresh and green spirit and she repeatedly proclaimed in her dying moments, "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." In her physical weakness, she saw the goodness of the Lord in her life.

Who better than an old woman or an old man to proclaim with confidence, "The Lord is upright, he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him." Who better than those who have lived long lives and walked rocky pathways filled with potholes and hidden terrors? Who better than those of us in this winter of life to proclaim from life experiences, "My God is sovereign and you can trust Him. I say this, because I know from experience, He is my Rock and there is no wickedness in Him."

And because of His past faithfulness, I can trust Him with whatever days I have left to proclaim His goodness, whether from a bed of physical affliction like my mother or in the context of unusual physical health and strength like my 84-year-old father.

I pray He gives me strength to be ever growing ever green, no matter what pathway He has marked out for me.

In His Grip,
Sharon

The first time I heard the phrase "ever growing, ever green" it was in reference to my then seventy-something father. My mother had died the year before. Though physically fragile, she had planned to attend a national women's conference with my sisters and her granddaughters in keeping with her lifelong practice of supporting and applauding every achievement of her children and grandchildren. She wanted to be part of this historic event where I had the privilege of teaching a seminar on grief and speaking on Sunday morning. In addition to co-leading worship, our son Chuck was giving a mini-piano concert Saturday night. Though it required travel to Atlanta, Georgia, my mother was determined to be part of this family moment. Because of her uncertain health needs, my father planned to accompany her. My mother died in December, 2008, but she left a well-taught husband (See Every Growing, Ever Green Part 1). In honor of my mother's memory, Daddy decided to attend the all women's conference, along with my husband. Close to thirty family members, including our daughter, daughter-in-law, soon to be daughter-in-law, our other son, all of my sisters, sister-in-laws, and many of my nieces gathered at the women's conference, ready to enjoy family and inspiration. Over thirty women from our church joined in. When the organizers realized the beauty of the covenant promises of God that our family reflected, they asked my father to introduce me. Only those who know my father understand what a huge task lay before him. Until my mother's death, Daddy was a man of few words - he let Mommy do the talking - which she gladly did. To think of him in front of 3000 women, speaking about his daughter and family (especially so soon after my mother's death), was more than I could imagine. But I gave him the invitation and after a split second of silence, he accepted the task. Let the praying begin!

As I review my parents' lives I realize that in keeping with his character and lifelong response to opportunities, my father had no choice but to say "yes" to the privilege of choosing to step outside of his comfort zone and proclaim the faithfulness of God with his lips, just as he had often done with his actions. Psalm 92:12 - 15 paints a picture of one who is "ever-growing, ever green."

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright; he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him."

Throughout my own life I have walked through open doors that lead to tasks way outside of my comfort zone. The older I get the more I realize my parents taught me by their own lives, that we should always be open to the possibilities of new opportunities. I can't actually remember my parents sitting me down to teach me some of these core values, I learned them by watching.

In His Grip,
Sharon