Christmas Day is a day of grief for many. I have spoken with several friends who are struggling to celebrate the birth of our Savior but every ornament, song, and even snow, sabotages their efforts because all they can think about are the Christmases they will never experience with their missing loved one. Oh how my heart resonates with their sorrow. And how I long to offer help and hope in way that encourages their hearts toward our God.

While reviewing my blog posts in preparation for next year, I found this one that I posted on Christmas Day, 2009. I hope the truths I share in it will encourage at least one broken-hearted friend to take the next step of faith required to worship our newborn King. May you experience God's treasures in the darkness on this day of days. Much love to each of my struggling friends.

Christimas Grief Relief: http://www.markinc.org/blog/index.cfm/12-Days-of-Christmas-Grief-Relief

In His grip with you, Sharon

Christmas. Be on the spiritual lookout for those who need a special touch. One of the sweetest, most encouraging whispers in my ear in the darkest season of my life was, "I miss him, too." Biblical encouragement is not complicated. Just follow God's nudge and you will be the one encouraged.

In His Grip, Sharon

"How can I help you?" The childless elderly widow paused before answering the pastor's question. "Don't forget me."

A few months ago I heard the same cry in my eighty-four year old mother-in-law's words as we settled her into a rehab center. She was recovering from surgery for a broken leg and was unable to care for herself. I asked her to describe her concerns about her new surroundings and she responded, "I'm afraid you are going to leave me here and forget about me."

Of course, I reassured her that would never happen. Her altered mental state diminished her ability to grasp the reasons for her temporary home. The only reassurance she could cling to was that I had never lied to her before. In her weakened condition, such she had to choose to trust my assurances that we would never neglect or forget her. Perhaps that is one of the greatest fears of every one. We want to know that at least one person in this world remembers us, cares for us, protects us, will not forget us.

Tamar, the first woman mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus, refused to be forgotten by the man responsible for her well-being. The first time I heard this story was several years after the death of our son, Mark. Tamar's behavior raises more moral questions than we can answer in this context (Chuck addresses them in his book, Harlots and Heroines, The Midwives of the Messiah) but God's character displayed in her story created an "aha!" moment in my desperate need to reconcile God's love with His sovereignty.

Soap operas have nothing on scripture and Tamar's story is no exception (Genesis 38). Tamar's husband died. A widow alone faced a life of poverty. A widow without children had no hope of a future. In her culture, brothers were expected to marry their deceased brother's widow. By this marriage, Tamar's offspring would continue the name and inheritance of the deceased. Such a union was later called a Leverite marriage (Deut. 25:5-6). Tamar's second husband refused to impregnate her because he didn't want her children to share in his inheritance. and he died. Actually, God put him to death, also. (You must read Genesis 38 for all the intricate details.) Judah, the father-in-law, son of Jacob, brother of Joseph, saw that the common denominator in the deaths of his sons was Tamar and he sent her back to her parents, telling her that when his youngest son was old enough, she could marry him. At this time Judah had no grandchildren to carry on his line. Judah's line would die if his third son did not have children. And apparently he had no intention of giving his youngest son to Tamar as her husband.

Tamar waited and waited and waited. When her mother-in-law died, Tamar must have concluded she had no hope of Judah keeping his promise. She used prostitution, deception, drunkenness, whatever it took, to force Judah to remember her. And remember her, he did. By means we cannot go into right now, Tamar forced her father-in-law to give her what was hers by God's law. Theologians have forever debated whether Tamar was righteous in her actions. That's not a discussion we can have in this context, but God gave me two brilliant treasures through Tamar's story.

God promised a Messiah would come through Abraham's family. For reasons known only to God, He chose Judah's family to continue the Messiah's bloodline. His choice of Judah, a man who sold his brother Joseph into slavery, is a cause for pause in itself. It's ironic that the very tactics Judah used to betray his father (lying, deception) Tamar used against him.

Through Tamar's manipulation of Judah, she became pregnant with twins. Perez, one of her sons, is listed in the genealogy of Jesus. In the middle of the Bible is this one tiny story that impacts all of our salvation. The bloodline of the Messiah ends with Judah if this baby is not born. This story gave me such deep confidence in God's character because in the middle of impossible circumstances He kept His promise in a way human beings would never have determined. Out of ashes comes indescribable beauty. I applied that character to my own shattered heart. How could God give me joy again in the darkness of grief? I concluded that I would trust that the same God who brought a baby out of a dark, sinful, horrific relationship in order to deliver His promised Messiah could bring joy back into my dark, broken world.

Second, grace flows through this story. God includes Tamar, a woman whose moral judgment appears deeply flawed, in the bloodline of our Messiah. Tamar's story encourages me to trust that my sins and the sins of others will not thwart God's eternal purpose. God redeems the pain and consequences of our sin. This is a mystery but we know that through repentance and genuine sorrow, God can create a testimony of His amazing grace.

Judah repented of his sin and applauded Tamar for her righteousness. Imagine Tamar's joy in the birth of her twins. Trust God to redeem the pain of broken places.

What Christmas gift do you want that cannot be broken? Perhaps, like the widow your own request is, "Do not forget me." Under Tamar's picture in God's Christmas Catalog imagine this description: Our God is the God Who remembers. His character displayed in the story of Tamar reminds us that no matter how dark or alone we may feel, He's there. The bloodline of the Messiah flows through the son of Tamar. God did not forget Tamar. If you need to know that He is the God Who cannot lie, the One Who cannot forget His promises or His children then Tamar's gift is for you, too."

In His grip,

Sharon

PS For more on Tamar's story, read Harlots and Heroines, Midwives of the Messiah. This book is a great way to soak in the Christmas story in preparation for Christmas.

I can only imagine the conflicting emotions that filled the women of Israel as Rahab, the Harlot, set up housekeeping outside the camp of God's people. Rumors about this streetwise hussy must have flown from woman to woman as they watched her unpack her colorful garments and exotic treasures. In keeping with their promise of safety for her family, the spies led her from Jericho to a place "outside the camp." However, at some point, Rahab, the Harlot, began living "with the Israelites." What happened? I think that among the women of Israel was at least one who took a deep breath, packed up a basket of stuffed grapeleaves, Syrian bread and baked kibbi and resolutely walked the pathway to the door of this strange woman's tent, determined to embrace and welcome her into the family of God.

Rahab, always called the Harlot in scripture, is the second woman mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1. I love Rahab. When Chuck and I were working on our book, Treasures of Faith, I had the privilege of getting inside Rahab's skin so that we could adequately tell her story. Rahab is one of the most unlikely women whose blood would flow in the veins of the Messiah, yet, God unapologetically includes her.

She was a harlot (or prostitute) who lived in Jericho. She ran a whorehouse - there is no other way of saying it. In her community, she was respected because her culture revered prostitutes as a necessary part of worship of their gods. Her business was strategically placed on the wall of Jericho so she was well exposed to happenings outside of Israel. Not only well-placed city officials but traveling businessmen frequented her "ladies" and maybe even Rahab herself. God used these visitors to teach Rahab about His character so that when the Israeli spies stopped by, she declared to them that "He is God." (Read Joshua 1 - 6 for the whole story). Because she believed in God's faithfulness and power, she hid the spies in exchange for her life and the safety of her family.

By doing so, Rahab, the harlot, was now a liar and traitor to her countrymen. Yet, she is not only included in the genealogy of Jesus, she is listed with Sarah in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. In addition, James uses her as an example of a faith that works. What supernatural hope Rahab's life communicates to people broken and stained by their own sinful choices.

Rahab becomes the wife of Salmon. Together they give birth to Boaz. We'll hear about Boaz when we talk about Ruth because Boaz married Ruth, a Gentile. Boaz and Ruth give birth to Obed, the father of Jesse. Jesse is the father of King David from whom flows the blood of the Messiah. There are so many life lessons in Rahab but one that stands out takes me back to my first thoughts. Who befriended Rahab? After winning the battle of Jericho, "the young men who had done the spying went in and brought out Rahab, her father and mother and brothers and all who belonged to her. They brought out her entire family and put them in a place outside the camp of Israel." Joshua 6:23

I like to believe an older woman, maybe the mother of one of the spies, embraced Rahab and insisted the other women welcome her. Someone created a safe place for Rahab, the harlot. I am always challenged by this story to ask myself if I am creating a safe place "in the camp (church)" for Rahab today. Oh that I will be the one who embraces the broken woman whose lifestyle is different than mine but whose heart resonates with the same need for Jesus. Joshua 6:25 feeds my imagination with the words "...and she lives among the Israelites to this day."

If Rahab was pictured in God's Christmas catalog, the description would read, "Looking for a belief that is unwavering? An ability to stand alone, even in the face of incredible danger? Do you need beauty from ashes and encouragement that your past does not make you ineligible for God's family or service in His church? Then God's gift to Rahab is for you."

In His grip,

Sharon

PS For more on Rahab's story, read Harlots and Heroines, Midwives of the Messiah. This book is a great way to soak in the Christmas story in preparation for Christmas.

A few years ago I wrapped up a speaking engagement by asking the women to turn to Psalm 30. Something supernatural happened as I began to read. I realized that God was keeping His promises to turn my weeping into joy.

My theme for the conference was Treasures in Darkness and throughout the weekend I had shared the story of our son, Mark's death and how I wrestled to reconcile God's love with His sovereignty. I told the women that sometimes I think about our life pathway and wonder at how I am able to breathe, to live with eternal purpose and experience joy in the journey. I have to conclude that God is keeping His promise that before the foundation of the world was laid, He gave me everything I need to perform the good works He planned out for me to do in my lifetime. His definition of good works is so different than mine. Sometimes when I'm speaking I know that my words are foreign and outrageous to the listeners. It's only by the gift of faith that we can recognize His equipping and take steps toward fulfilling His plans for us.

In that supernatural moment during my speaking engagement a light went on in my soul and God seemed to quickly run a video of the many reasons for joy that I have in my life. Of course, my first snapshots were of my husband's faithful love, the walk of obedience in each of our children's lives, their marriages that reflect commitment to one another and biblical love and the joy of our grandchildren. I thought of the deep belly laughter that often filled our house when everyone gathered for family celebrations. Yes, we still had our private moments of our missing son, but our hands and hearts were open to receive the treasures God had designed to give us hope and help in the dark, secret places of our souls.

I exclaimed to the audience, "Next to verse 10, Here, O Lord and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help' I wrote and underlined the word "PLEASE!"

"And in the margin next to verses 11 and 12, 'You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever.' I wrote, 'When will you do this for my family?'"

I continued, "I well remember the anguish in my soul when I begged God for grief relief. And in this very moment, I can proclaim that God is keeping the promise of Psalm 30."

Now, lest you get the wrong idea, please know that sixteen years later, I long for Mark. I miss him so. But in those moments of deep anguish, there is a place of joy that I can go where grief relief waits. Grief set up residence on our home on July 6, 1993. But one day unbeknownst to us Joy slipped in and gently started pushing Grief off of center stage. Grief still resides in our home but Joy has taken up permanent residence as well. Sometimes Joy fades into the background when Grief demands our attention. But Joy always comes back.

Every December we join our church family to celebrate the most wonderful gift of all,Jesus. We expect moments of joy as we connect with our covenant family and believers all over the world through the grace gift of Communion, corporate worship and soul-lifting teaching from God's Word. We'll spend special time with our children and grandchildren, soaking up the joy that exudes from their hugs and giggles. We'll miss Mark and we'll cry for what we don't have. But by God's amazing grace, we will remember that He is keeping His promises to turn our wailing into dancing, to remove our sackcloth and clothe us with His mysterious joy. I do not take one minute of joy for granted.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Read more about Sharon's grief journey in Treasures in Darkness: A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart

Sign up for FREE Treasures of Encouragement that come right to your email box by using the Subscribe Option at the top left hand corner of this blog.

Today my friend, Chevonne Dorsey, better known as Bubbles to her friends, takes a few minutes to encourage us to soak in the truth of this statement: Jesus really is the reason for the season.

In His Grip,
Sharon

One of the biggest stresses for a newly married couple is where they will spend the holidays. Barbie L'Italian shares how she is freeing her adult, married children to develop their own holiday traditions without giving up the core traditions of their family.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Legacy and passing on a heritage of faith are important themes in our family and church family. How can we instill traditions of mercy ministry into small children in a way that makes sharing what we have with others second nature?

In my book, Treasures of Encouragement: Women Helping Women in the Church I urge women to see the goal of biblical encouragement is not to fix another person's life but rather a means to help turn hearts toward the Lord. Such a view is freeing. We should not sell short any act of encouragement as too small or insignificant. We have no idea how God will use our acts of obedience as channels of His compassion that bring hope and help to a hurting heart.

What is it about a child that can touch a lonely person's heart in a way that brings them closer to God's love and presence? My friend, Emily Holcroft shares some of her family traditions that are not just reserved for Christmas mercy ministry but all year long. Listen as she describes some of the practical ways her children are learning that big mercy often arrives in tiny packages prepared by little hands.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Do you cry over the Hallmark Card commercials the way I do. The one that really gets to me is when the family is gathered around the piano and an little girl starts singing O Holy Night. A few words into the hymn and a soldier slips into the room, obviously the brother or son, surprising his family with a Christmas return. He joins his sister in singing the hymn. Oh my, I can't stand it!

But I wonder how many people watch these beautiful vignettes designed to evoke emotions that will drive us to find just the right card or purchase a gift that subconsciously guarantees a strong family feeling? Unfortunately, many people dread holiday family gatherings, knowing that conflict will reign as relatives unload hostility and hatred instead of love and peace to all.

Years ago I heard a speaker encourage us to accept that the father who always shows us drunk or the mother who slices and dices with her words will not submit to a twenty-four hour "cease fire" so that we can have a Hallmark Card Christmas. We have to accept that angry, broken people will probably be even angrier during the holidays. We should view them as "irregular people" and expect them to behave as they always do.

What is an irregular person? When I was a teenager my mother shopped at the Wilmington Dry Goods, a store that sold clothing with "irregular" stamped on the labels. She carefully inspected each purchase for ripped seams, holes, even measured sleeves to make sure they were the same length. She knew the clothing was not perfect, she expected to find flaws. She had seven children to clothe and the prices fit her budget. Imagine her delight when she found clothing that had minor flaws that weren't noticeable or hidden. So an irregular person is damaged. I think that definition includes every one of us. Each of us is an irregular person. Some of us are better at hiding our flaws than others. For those who display their irregularities with neon signs that annoy and hurt others, we must remember that but for the grace of God, there we are as well. We will experience more peace and joy in family gatherings if we won't expect them to change in order to give us a great Christmas

In her Considerable Grace blog, Tara Klena Barthel transparently shares her own struggle to overcome childhood conflict and genuinely love family members that once caused pain in her life. Tara is known for her passion for Peacemaking and is a well-known author and speaker. If you need help in knowing how to practically prepare for dealing with difficult people during your holiday celebrations check out her post, Family Conflicts and the Holidays http://networkedblogs.com/p18945743

For more encouragement from Tara, download (for free) her message to A Woman of Peace Amidst Holiday Strife, http://tarabarthel.com/resources.html#cds

May you prepare your hearts for family gatherings by reflecting deeply on the grace God has extended to you.

In His grip,

Sharon

Today a young woman shares how her parents are teaching their children the beauty of celebrating Christmas throughout the month of December. It's not too late for you to start this family tradition, too.

In His Grip,
Sharon

When I was a young mother I loved hearing practical ideas for organizing my overwhelming, over-scheduled, over-stimulated life, especially tips for thriving in the message of Christmas rather than just surviving the holidays.

In keeping with our local church's Christmas TEA theme for 2009, Simply Christmas, my friend, Erin Worden, shares how she intentionally plans so that her family more than survives the holidays. Even if you're not a young mom, let this young woman's suggestions encourage you to take a step back and simplify Christmas in your home.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Between now and the end of December, these blog posts will encourage you to focus on "simply Christmas." Most of the posts will take just a few minutes to read or view but hopefully the message of God's amazing grace will help equip, energize and encourage you to reflect the presence of Jesus as you interact with others during this holiday season.

You can receive these FREE treasures of encouragement by using the Subscribe option located on the top left hand corner of the blog.

Along with practical tips on organizing your inner life and daily responsibilities, my main focus will be on keeping our hearts fixed on Jesus. My first exhortation to myself is: Keep it Simple, Sister! I don't want to just survive the holidays. I want to thrive and soak in the priceless gift that keeps on giving. Please add your comments on how you keep Christmas simple or your commitment to Simply Christmas. When I was a young teenager, my very talented, artistic mother coached me in a Christmas talent contest. Because I trusted her artistic savvy, I willingly learned the song, All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth. That night, right before I was to perform, she handed me already been chewed licorice gum and told me to put it on my two front teeth Then she instructed me to sing with my top lip covering my top teeth until the very end. She told me to hold out the last note of the song, and then to slowly break into a wide smile, so that the audience could see the blacked out two front teeth. My performance was a hit!

But the song begs the question, what do you want for Christmas? If you could have one thing, what would it be? When I was a little girl, all I wanted was what I called a big doll. It was a soft bodied doll that was as big as a baby. Every night I lay in my bed, searched for the first evening star and whisper, "Star light, Star bright, First star I see tonight, Wish I may, Wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight." Then I added, please bring me a big doll for Christmas. My big gift that year was my longed for doll. I couldn't wait to take my doll to school and introduce it to my second-grade friends. My teacher recommended that I leave it inside at recess time but I couldn't part with it one minute. I learned a hard lesson about listening to teachers that day. One of our favorite playground games was when the girls held hands to form a circle and the person in the middle tried to fun through the clasped hands. My girlfriend and I held the hands of my doll. I guess I believed that no one would be mean enough to try to run through my doll's hands. I didn't bank on a boy in the middle. As soon as I recognized his plan, I held tighter to my doll's hand. Silly me, why didn't I let it go? Within seconds, my precious gift broke as my classmate rammed through the circle's weakest link and my doll's arm tore away from its body.

Now the question is bigger than "What do you want for Christmas." The real question becomes, "What one gift do you want for Christmas that cannot be broken?" Let's go back in time and visit with a young woman who received the very first Christmas gift, a baby boy. Thirty- three years later, soldiers would break this priceless gift right in front of the young woman's eyes. Her precious son, broken beyond repair, or so it appeared. And yet, God would give her back the perfect gift...a gift that keeps on giving to us today.

When we meet Mary, the teenage mother of Jesus, we understand that life was good for this young woman. She planned to marry a man who loved her and shared her faith in Jehovah. In an instant, God turned her plans upside down. An angel told her that though she was a virgin, she was pregnant and would give birth to the very son of God. We know that Mary was frightened because God's messenger exhorted her, "Do not be afraid."

Mary's response to these events stuns and convicts me every time I read it, "I am the handmaiden of the Lord. May it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:36)

Mary's Song, or The Magnificat as many call it, gives us insight into how Mary was able to respond to God's plans for her life with such sweet submission. Mary's world view is clear. In the first line she proclaims the driving force behind her actions and her own need for a Savior. Then she describes an utmost confidence in the character and promises of the Father of her son.

From Mary I learn that my circumstances make up my platform for glorifying God. Mary's response to God's pathway for her, teaches me that God is sovereign and I can trust Him. So I ask again, What is the one gift you want for Christmas that cannot be broken?

In the meantime, I urge you to open up God's Christmas Catalog, His Word, where He showcases His gift of grace on every page. Meditate on Mary's story and open your heart and hands to receive the assurance that the picture of her life demonstrates, God is sovereign and we can trust Him.

What priceless gift does Mary represent to you?

In His Grip,
Sharon

For more on Mary, check out Chuck's new book, Harlots and Heroines: The Midwives of the Messiah. He gets inside the skin of five women on the pathway to our Messiah and some of his insights may surprise you. Order before December 31 and receive a 30% discount with Code HHBOOK. Use Discount Code HHGIFT for a 20% discount on the book and our son, Chuck's piano CD, My Heart's Cry.

The theme of our annual Christmas TEA, one of our most beloved traditions at Glasgow Church, was Simply Christmas. Our team transformed our Family Life Center into a candle-lit, warm inviting room, wreathed with hundreds of gorgeous poinsettias. Over 400 women attended, many of the guests were little girls and teens. We laughed at old movie clips that captured the stresses of Christmas and some of us cried a few tears as God's Word touched the soft spots of our hearts. I'm so glad for the reminder to simplify Christmas so that I will soak up the most perfect Christmas gift of all, my Savior, Jesus.

This morning I began reading Chuck's new book, Harlots of Heroines: The Midwives of the Messiah, as one means to start each day in December with the meat of God's Word, I was struck with this quote:

A wounded widow...a professional prostitute...an indomitable immigrant, a bathing beauty...a terrified teenager. What do these five women have in common? They were all an integral part of the plan God made in eternity past to come to this earth as a man.....These women were God's conduits of love and the chosen instruments of the Incarnation who brought "Joy to the World." Their chorus of pain, loss and eventual redemption gave voice of the Angelic Host who brought the very first Christmas Carol to the hills outside of Bethlehem. God condescended in Grace to use these five mangled masses of frightened and scarred humanity to become the Midwives of the Messiah!

Perhaps one of the most important truths for me as I walk the pathway God has marked out for my family, is that God cannot lie. He does not forget His children. He keeps His promises. I think the reason I'm so taken with these five women is because not one of them, except perhaps Mary, realized how critical they were in God's eternal plan to produce the Messiah from their bodies. I remember how comforted I was when I first saw the scarlet cord of God's redemption plan that tied these women together. God was always at work behind the scenes, never thwarted by the sins of men or the betrayal or seeming lostness of these women. Their stories give me such comfort but they always deepen my appreciation for God's faithful love demonstrated by the baby boy in the manger.

Simply Christmas. Is that your goal? Over the next few weeks I'll be sharing more thoughts on how God is opening my heart to the simplicity of His redemption plan. You can receive these FREE treasures of encouragement by subscribing to my blog in the left menu.

Simply Christmas. I hope you'll share some of your thoughts on simplifying Christmas in the comments section as well.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Thanksgiving in America is over. Christmas is a few weeks away. Let the games begin! Does your to do list include simplifying your days so that you can focus on the "real meaning of Christmas?"

If so, subscribe to this blog right now and you'll receive in your email box FREE frequent, brief treasures of encouragement that will help you simplify Christmas so that you don't miss the spiritual richness of this moment in time that forever changed our world. The FREE subscription option is located at the top left hand corner of this blog. Be sure to confirm your subscription once the confirmation email reaches your Inbox.

Last year I posted Twelve Days of Christmas Grief Relief with hopes that my thoughts might encourage grieving families as they tried to find a new normal without their loved ones during the holidays. If you or a friend is struggling with how to find meaning in this "most wonderful time of the year" when your heart is breaking, I urge you to check out those posts.

This year, I'm focusing on Simply Christmas Treasures of Encouragement. Each post will be a brief devotional that encourages readers to think through how they will reflect Christ as they prepare for Christmas. Along with some of my personal musings, I'll share some links to online resources that have helped me grow as well as some video clips from our annual Christmas TEA where women share how they are striving to simplify Christmas.

The posts will officially start on December 8. Help me spread the word about these posts by forwarding this blog post to friends and family with an invitation to subscribe. Remember, it's FREE encouragement!

Don't forget to place your order for Chuck's new book, Harlots and Heroines, The Midwives of the Messiah. And here's a secret. Use HHGIFTSET for a 20% discount on the gift set that includes an autographed copy of the book and our son, Chuck's solo piano CD, My Heart's Cry. Or, use HHBOOK for a 30% discount on just the book. The discount applies to as many books or gift sets that you want. The code is case sensitive and the discount ends December 31.

If your heart resonates with the goal of keeping Christmas simple, I hope you'll share your ideas in the comment section of the blog posts. Let's help each other to think, Simply Christmas Treasures of Encouragement!

In His Grip,
Sharon