Posted At : July 25, 2010 1:06 PM | Posted By : Sharon Betters
Related Categories: Parenting

Picture this. Hot and humid and a bunch of grandkids on the screened-in porch. Grammy distributes water bottles, trusting the youngest (three years old) up to the oldest to know how to drink water from a bottle.

Twenty minutes later Grammy walks out on the porch to check on grandkids. One of the grandsons picks up a water bottle and pours it out in front of Grammy.

Grammy grabs the bottle and exclaims, "What are you doing? Stop that and don't do it again!"

A minute later same grandson picks up another water bottle and empties it on the outdoor carpet.

Grammy recognizes the line drawn in the sand.

Kneels down in front of the child and begins a lecture. "Do not pour water out on the floor. Do not disobey me."

Grammy sees that this child is not looking at her and shifts into second gear.

"Look at me."

Grandson averts eyes.

Grammy grabs him by the cheeks, forces his eyes to look into hers and repeats:

"Do not pour the water on the floor. You must obey me. Repeat after me: Do not pour the water on the floor."

Grandson remains silent and again averts his eyes.

Grammy recognizes that the other grands are watching and she must win this battle. Grammy tightens her grip on the cheeks, demands that he look her in the eyes and states emphatically: "Repeat after me, I will not pour the water on the floor."

Silence while Grammy waits for correct response. Grandson: "Grammy, my ears can't hear you because my mouth is so full."

Grammy tries not to laugh and finally gets him to repeat, although without much conviction, "Don't pour the water on the floor."

Life Lesson for Grammy: "God, my ears can't hear you because my mouth is so full. Full of my own words, my own protests, my own excuses. Lord, empty my mouth and open my ears to your voice. May I listen twice as much as I talk."

"My dear sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for a woman's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19 - 20

'nough said.

In His grip,

Sharon

Posted At : July 9, 2010 12:44 AM | Posted By : Sharon Betters
Related Categories: Parenting

Our son posted this list as a note on his Facebook account. While my own parents didn't use these same words as they raised us, they certainly passed on these values. Common sense, pure and simple. Oh, how I hope parents will not only agree and smile at the truths but will also incorporate them into their lives and insist on passing them on to their children. Parents have an uphill battle in fighting the myths our culture has embraced. Many of these truths are rooted in truths from Proverbs. Teach them young, my friends!

Rule 1: Life is not fair...get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make 40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a cell phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parent's fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you the test as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10. TV is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

~Wise words from Bill Gates

For more on parenting check out Teaching Them Young.

Posted At : March 14, 2009 1:46 AM | Posted By : Sharon Betters
Related Categories: Parenting

Cancer cells found a weak spot in my body and made themselves at home. Once the tumor rooted itself firmly, it put out tentacles of rogue cells that found their way into my lymph nodes. Through a mammogram for another complaint, the cancer was found out and aggressive treatment wiped it out.

Cancer cells are sneaky and search patiently for a vulnerable spot to land and grow. Rogue cells like bones. I learned that strengthening my bones could protect them from an invasion. After the last of six months of chemo treatments, I worked hard to build up my immune system as a hedge of protection against disease. Over twenty years later, I am still cancer free.

Heart disease came next. Two-thirds of those diagnosed with this particular heart condition either get worse or stay the same. I wanted to be in the one-third who get better. No one could guarantee how to make that happen but I realized that my best defense against it progressing was to strengthen my core, to do whatever I could to strengthen the heart muscle along with the other muscles and bones in my body. Exercise, vitamins, medication, careful oversight by my doctors, healthy eating - though none of these might appear to be heart and cancer fighting soldiers, each one works as a boundary that slows down the advance of disease. Slowly but surely my heart is getting stronger.

When our daughter heard that her dad's "good hip" was giving him trouble, she researched what she could do to protect her own body from succumbing to what seems to be a genetic condition. The message didn't change: Strengthen your core with strength training. Strengthen surrounding muscles and bones with exercise.

As I was reviewing Chuck's new book, Teaching Them Young: The Hidden Treasures of the Proverbs, I concluded that he was exhorting parents with the same message: strengthening their spiritual core as well as their children's will help prepare their children's souls to fight off the attack of rogue cells that are looking for a place to root and grow in their children's lives. Each principle from Proverbs is another fence designed to build our children's spiritual muscles and bones so that they can fight off the temptation to look for satisfaction and contentment anywhere but in their relationship to Christ.

Teaching Them Young is not a parenting recipe with ten steps to raising a happy child, but rather a call to personal confrontation and doing the hard work of marathon parenting, strengthening our own spiritual cores as we act as personal trainers for our children.

Strengthening my physical core requires discipline and self-denial. I'm more apt to listen to a personal trainer whose physical body reflects the results of discipline and self-denial. Strengthening my spiritual core requires discipline and self-denial. It's a no-brainer to realize that a child in spiritual training might listen more readily to parents whose own spiritual core reflects a lifetime of discipline and self-denial. Teaching Them Young: The Hidden Treasures of the Proverbs is a tool you want in your parenting (and grandparenting) personal trainer's regimen.

In His Grip,
Sharon

Posted At : December 13, 2008 7:00 AM | Posted By : Sharon Betters
Related Categories: Parenting

How do you enfold a child into your family when their heart longs for the mom who isn't there? In this post, our daughter, Heidi, shares some of her experiences in raising our grandson, Cori. Cori is now in the Navy and every time we gather as a family, we miss his presence and look forward to his return. He's a strong, young man with a bright future, deeply missed by his brothers and sisters. Perhaps Heidi's hard-learned lessons will help you avoid some of the pitfalls of raising a child whose heart belongs to another.

Removing "Step" from "Child" as Christmas
By Heidi Nequist My experience as a step-mom has been an amazing roller coaster ride. There was so much I did wrong and so much I would change. Somehow, God's grace has covered a multitude of my mistakes. Cori was 18 months when I met my husband, Greg; so I have always been in Cori's life. Every Christmas and every other summer he would come to Delaware from the time he was three years old. "Dad" and "Heidi" went together. We hardly ever used the word "step". We were an instant family. We did the typical "shared custody" for several years. At the age of 11, he stopped visiting his mother altogether. That was when it got VERY interesting. I was no longer a "part time" Mom to Cori. I was IT. Cori even started to call me "Mom". I was battling a force much stronger than any I had ever experienced; the force of another mom, Cori's mom, in my home. The hardest times in Cori's life were the holidays. From about Halloween through Valentine's Day, Cori suffered in silence. It took us several years of changed behavior for us to figure out what the issue was. Cori missed his mom, and as hard as I tried, I didn't cut it. The tie from a child to his mother is like no other. The typical blended family rules didn't apply to us in that I wasn't "sharing" custody. But, I was definitely sharing. There were things I could have done to help Cori, and the rest of our family, through the holiday season. The sullen looks from Cori and the irritation I felt from his behavior could have been improved. People always say that Christmas is a time for children, but for a "step-child", these magical days are sometimes painful. Here are some things about Christmas with a "step-child" I wish I had learned early on. You can read Heidi's insights by visiting her blog at: http://www.heidinequist.blogspot.com/

In His Grip,
Sharon