Ok, so when I started this journey, I expected to identify specific sins so that I could conquer each one within the next 4 weeks. Instead, God is using David's anguished repentance to teach me how to grow deeper in love with Jesus and see that love flow through my every day life.

Now I'm ready to tackle specific sins - right, God?

Once more, God surprises me by taking me in a different direction than I expected. The assignment in the first chapter of Four Weeks with God and Your Neighbor is to read Ephesians 4:17-24. It's a classic passage on repentance: put off sin, put on righteousness. But there is a little phrase in this passage that I often forget and it's the key to lasting change in my life. It's the challenge to "be made new in the attitude of your minds." Based on my own life experience with obedience, my worldview drives my actions. When I find it difficult to break a sin habit, I need to identify what it is about the sin that gives me more pleasure than obedience will give. Ouch.

So, when I regularly let the sun go down on my anger and continually fail to resolve conflicts immediately, I must dig deep into my soul to find out what attitude is driving such sinful behavior. What pleasure am I getting from holding on to anger? We continue in sin because the pleasure of the sin is greater than the pleasure of God's favor. So when I identify judging others as a sin habit I want to change, I probably won't have much success until I also identify why I enjoy judging others rather than thinking the best of them. What pleasure do I receive in speaking evil of another? What pleasure does gossip give that is greater than the pleasure of using my words to build up another?

What attitude must change so that my behavior will change?

When someone brings a negative report about another person to me, why do I tend to react as though the report is true rather than remembering Proverbs 18:17: The first to present his case seems right, til another comes forward and questions him.

What pleasure do I gain by believing the worst rather than choosing to withhold judgment until I have all the facts?

Help me out, sisters.

Why do I speak before thinking? Why do I struggle with jumping to conclusions? What is the remedy?

Change the attitude of my mind, Oh Lord.

In His Grip,
Sharon

David says that his sin is always before him (Psalm 51:3). I feel his pain. I can barely function when I know that my actions have hurt someone I love. How do I "un-sin" my relationship to them? I can try to undo the pain of my sin, try to fix broken relationships. But just like I can't put toothpaste back in the tube, I can't take back the hurtful words or even lack of words.

Think of it, David lived with the murder of one of his key leaders. He lived with the consequences of adultery. Though God "un-sinned" him through forgiveness, David's life was characterized by chaos and family feuds...the consequences of his sin. Yet, God calls him a man after His own heart.

How can this be? Grace, grace, God's grace. There is hope for me, too. How does God want me to tap into this amazing grace? With the sacrifice of a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:16-17) that is reflected by my thank offerings, my dependence on His love, and trust in His Help (Psalm 50:14, 15). My heart is overflowing with the renewed revelation of God's longing for me to relate to Him on the most personal level. Every time I acknowledge His faithfulness and every time I depend on Him, I am giving a thank offering in which He delights.

I think about how much I want my husband to depend on me, to trust me to meet his needs wherever possible. And I want him to know how much I love him, to tell me he sees the love I'm expressing in my behavior toward him. The more he acknowledges my love, the more I want to show him my love.

Oh my, knowing my own heart needs in my marriage, I can see more clearly why God desires to receive thank offerings from me and how those offerings actually ignite His power in my life. This is really more than I can get my hands around but it's driving me deeper into His heart.

What about you, my friend? What is God teaching you on this spiritual pathway? What is soaking in Psalm 51 revealing about your own heart? Your lessons learned will help me keep on keeping on.

In his Grip,
Sharon