Tipper and Al Gore: Drifting Apart

Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper shocked many friends and supporters when they announced the dissolution of their over forty-year marriage. They explained that there was "no one else" but that they had drifted apart. We hope that the media and public give Al and Tipper privacy and the freedom to find their way back to one another.

A friend commented, "You just never know. They always acted so in love and committed to each other." It's true. No one but the husband and wife really know what a marriage is like. And sometimes, not even the husband or wife know the true condition of their spouse's heart. We can take a lesson from our former Vice President and his wife. We must guard our marriages. Scripture teaches us much about building a strong marriage, from the Song of Solomon to thousands of verses that address how to treat one another in any relationship to the many Proverbs that directly address faithfulness between a husband and wife.

According to this very public couple, adultery is not an issue. Neither of them have turned to another person. Yet when a couple "drifts apart" the root cause is neglect of their relationship which means other priorities have created an environment of unfaithfulness to their marriage vows.

According to Jesus, it's possible to commit adultery and never have an immoral physical relationship with another person. Let's think about this for a minute. Paul declared that ALL scripture is profitable for doctrine, correction, reproof, and equipping for righteousness. Therefore, we need to determine how Jesus' warning about looking at another woman with lust in our hearts is adultery applies to each of us. How do we drift apart in marriage? Perhaps it starts when we look at any other avenue for satisfaction and that avenue does not lead us back to a stronger relationship with our spouse. Instead, we end up at the corner of Discontent and Boredom rather than at the center of Satisfaction and Delight.

There are numerous passages in Proverbs that warn a young man to avoid the adulterous woman. Many readers cannot relate to a woman dressed as a prostitute walking under their window, seductively whispering, "My husband is out for the evening, come and talk a while with me..." Yet this scripture is profitable as a means to equip us for all good works.

Proverbs 5 - 6 outlines the downward spiral of adultery with specific, graphic warnings of the outcome. If lusting after another person is not your core struggle, replace the "adulterous woman" with any desire, activity, or relationship that you may be putting before your spouse. Before you reject the possibility that you may have such an idol, consider Proverbs 29:20 - This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, "I've done nothing wrong." Remember, we're trying to learn from Al and Tipper and guard against drifting away from our spouse. It's time to do a marriage gut check and that won't happen if we are unwilling to consider the possibility that we need to make some changes.

After Solomon graphically warns his son in Proverbs 5, he encourages him with how to guard against anything that could distract him from his marriage:

Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well...Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

There is much more in this passage than a call to recapture the ecstasy of youthful physical intimacy. One assignment we give couples struggling to rebuild their marriages, is for them to make a list of what attracted them to one another. What did they enjoy doing together in the beginning of their marriage? We try to guide them to recapture the FUN of their marriage. While this will not solve deep-seated issues, sometimes it's all a couple needs to get back on track.

Over the next couple of weeks, we will post clips from an article by Chuck, Priorities that Build Strong Marriages.

We've been married forty-one years. And we endorse Solomon's counsel to his son. It applies whether you're 21 or 62.

In His Grip,
Chuck and Sharon

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