We are a ministry rooted in the reformed faith that offers resources on grief, autism, alcoholism, terminal illness and life crises, as well as hope and help for daily life.

Two weeks ago I learned that my former husband had stomach cancer. He and his current wife lived in another state. As soon as I heard the news, memories so deep and precious bombarded my soul. Our divorce was one of those childish mistakes because we had married so young. We were teens when we fell in love and still teens when we said our vows. He was my first love. I was his first love. We shared many years of marriage and tried to grow up together but we ended in divorce.

Two weeks, just two weeks after I heard about the cancer, my former husband died. How could he be gone so quickly? Shock overwhelmed me. He could not have died so quickly….

Grief also overwhelmed me but there would be no huddle of loved ones beside me as I mourned the loss of a wonderful man. Like a slow light dawning, I realized I was an “un-widow.”

I was shocked by the bitterness in my voice when I shared this revelation with a friend. I wanted to be the beloved and honored widow but bad choices had demolished that legacy. I felt forgotten. I was forgotten. Who would share my sorrow?

My husband’s current wife (his widow) called and talked for three hours about her grief. Her excruciating pain was clear. I heard ministering words coming from my lips and genuine concern from my heart. My own hurts faded. She wept and I kept my mouth shut unless she asked a question. I even helped her find a way to mourn him by sleeping with one of his shirts or in the spot he occupied on their bed. I told her that his scent would calm her. God kept giving me strength to be gentle with this woman whose heart was hurting, maybe even more than mine. Exhaustion dripped from every joint as I hung up the phone. What had just happened? I called a friend just to tell someone else of this remarkable exchange. She responded, "This woman must really think a lot of you to call and share with you." I didn’t think of it that way, but I knew that somehow God had used this strange exchange as a means to give me a different peace about my former husband’s death. I was not an "un widow" but a woman once loved by a dear man and a woman more certain of God’s love than ever. I know that my story is unconventional, but I also know God gave me this treasure in the darkness, designed by Him, to turn my broken heart toward Him, to remind me that He loves me and knows just what I need. This memory helps to heal places in my broken heart and draws me closer to our Lord at this very hard time in my life and the lives of the children he left behind. Thanks for allowing me to share.

In Christ,

Name Withheld