Adapted from Treasures in Darkness, A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart

Midnight Principle: The Christmas story itself can give strength through the holiday season.

Holidays sharpen grief. Celebrating such a treasured family holiday was on our minds even on that terrible July night when we lost our sixteen-year-old son, Mark and his friend in a horrific car accident. On our way home from the hospital, Chuck grabbed my hand and barely whispered, "Christmas, how can we ever celebrate Christmas?"

I had no answer...

Christmas had always been my favorite time of year. We didn't buy many toys for our children throughout the year; that was reserved for Christmas. What great fun we always had, planning and preparing, watching for sales, loving the adrenalin of the chase and the victory of finding just the right gift at just the right price. When Mark and Daniel had wanted the most popular toy, we had done everything we could to find it. We had perpetuated our childhood family traditions; family and friends always joined us for a Christmas Eve buffet and then attended the church communion service. I always loved the candlelight service, the music, the family feeling, the preaching, the security of old family traditions. Afterward our immediate family had gathered at our home for the kids to exchange gifts and enjoy the euphoria of Christmas.

On the night of Mark's death, I concluded I would never experience such joy again.

As Christmas approached I searched the Scriptures for direction on how to face this first Christmas as an incomplete family. Someone had told us that we should prepare for holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays by changing our traditions. The second half of the book of Isaiah seemed to affirm that suggestion, and I asked God for specific ways to help my family honor Christ’s birth in the context of deep grief.

In my journal I wrote out passages from Isaiah as God's personal Christmas card to me and to remind me of his instructions. Each one drew me into God’s heart:

But now, this is what the Lord says – "he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mind. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

(Isa. 43:1-2).

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
(Isa. 43:18-19)

 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

(Isa. 46:4)

 

"Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed."

(Isa. 49:23b)

The Treasure of Holiday Presence

[Jesus said,] "I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

(Matt. 28:20)

On Christmas day, I slipped away to spend time alone in our bedroom, reading the Christmas story, meditating especially on Mary and the conflicting emotions she must have experienced from the moment the angel told her about the coming Messiah. I wondered, Was she lonely, afraid, confused? What emotions swirled around her soul when she gave birth to Jesus, far from family, disconnected from everything familiar? I felt strangely drawn to her heart and the feelings she may have experienced on that dark, lonely night.

Mary's song, recorded in Luke 1:46-55, acknowledged her own need of a Savior and her absolute trust that God keeps his promises from generation. I wondered if she sang this song as a sacrifice of praise, choosing to believe the promise of God in the context of unbelievable circumstances. I followed the thread of her story to the foot of the cross and wept as I married my longing for Mark to her anguish as she watched the brutalization of her beloved son. Did she wonder where God was? As if to answer my questions, God drew me back to the Scriptures from Isaiah where he repeatedly promised to never leave me alone, to guide me in the darkness, to never forget me, to always be with me. I remembered that Isaiah prophesied the virgin birth of Jesus and proclaimed that he would be called Immanuel, which means "God with us." The gospel of Matthew places this prophecy in the middle of the Christmas narrative (Matt. 1:23).

And do you know how Matthew ends his gospel? By his resurrection, Jesus has proven himself a victor over death. He's about to ascend to the right hand of his Father in heaven, and he promises his disciples – and his followers for generations to come – that he is not really leaving them. Jesus’ last words: "Surely I am with always to the very end of the age."

Jesus, through his Spirit is here. With us. With you. With me. Even now. Especially now, in the season that celebrates his birth

Sharon W. Betters is the wife of Dr. Charles F. Betters, pastor/teacher of MARK INC Ministries. Sharon is the author of Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-authored Treasures of Faith with her husband. For more resources designed to help turn your heart toward the love of God, visit http://www.markinc.org/.

Order Treasures in Darkness, A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart by clicking here.

Adapted from Treasures in Darkness: A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart. Used by permission of P & R Publishing Company, copyright ©2006 by Sharon Betters. All rights reserved. Materials are not to be distributed to other web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without permission of P & R Publishing Company and/or MARKINC Ministries.

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