We are a ministry rooted in the reformed faith that offers resources on grief, autism, alcoholism, terminal illness and life crises, as well as hope and help for daily life.

How the covenant community ministers to the grieving.

We can allow fear to enslave us or use it as a means to build God’s kingdom in our own circles of influence. Living fearlessly in a fear-filled world requires a commitment to care about those around you. One of God’s means of breaking down the walls of our own fear, is for those who know Jesus as Savior, Lord and Friend to reach out to others with the hope that He has given to us. Often our fear grows when the brokenness of this world intrudes into the lives of our family and friends. We are fearful that what has happened to them might happen to us. And so we sometimes avoid hurting people because we don't want to be confronted with the reality of living in this messy world.

Once we get past that barrier, though, we frequently conclude that we are ill-equipped to comfort or encourage someone whose life has been turned upside down by grief or loss. Yet God commands us to weep with those who weep. When He calls us, He also equips. Spend some time in the following scriptures and ask God to use this study to equip you for His calling to help turn the heart of the fearful toward the God of all Comfort.

1. The Need for Comfort indicates the Presence of Grief

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27

The Reality of Grief in the Covenant Community 

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper (Azar) of the fatherless. Psalm 10:14

Rachel refused to be comforted because her children were no more. Matthew 2:18

Abraham grieved for Sarah
Jacob grieved for Joseph
Grief is real and appropriate. Even with great faith in God there is deep pain in grief.

2. People with a personal relationship to Jesus Christ do not have to grieve as the world grieves.

Grief will turn to joy: John 16:20

1 Thessalonians 4:13 – Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.

We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still a live and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

Those who trust in Christ can offer the hope that a personal relationship with Him gives in a fear-filled world.

Practically Speaking

Connect with the family as soon as possible after the death or loss.

Here Are Some of the Practical Needs the Grieving Will Have:
– Requiring help making funeral arrangements, contacting friends and family
– Requiring help preparing meals
– Requiring help finding housing for out of town guests
– Requiring help doing household chores, cleaning and laundry, watering plants, etc.

Offer Help:
– Answer the phone
– Answer the door
– Keep lists of visitors and gifts (flowers, food, etc.)
– Clean
– Organize meals and food gifts (in disposable containers, please)
– Provide childcare
– Arrange for drivers to meet travelers at airport
– Arrange for drivers to run errands
– Arrange for drivers at the funeral
– Arrange housing for out of town guest
– Offer help for sick or invalid family members
– Offer to help with funeral arrangements
– Offer to house sit while family attends funeral

The Ministry of the Church:
– Study grief
– Establish and maintain a library of helpful books/resources on grief
– Gather information on support groups/services for the bereaved
– Have a special educational event with a panel of people who can explain how to minister to the bereaved

Long-term Needs:
– Meals and household help
– Personal visits or phone call immediately with follow up calls
– Particular sensitivity around holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of the death
– Widows: Financial Counseling
– Offer to attend a support group with the bereaved
– Be aware of the loneliness of a widow(er) and invite him/her to join you for dinner or church events, etc.
– Offer transportation
– Sensitively encourage the bereaved to re-connect with the church and other activities
– Be sure death is acknowledged by the church – via card, flowers, announcement in bulletin, prayer from pulpit.

Listen, Listen, Listen:
– Be comfortable with Silence
– Don’t be afraid of questions you can’t answer – encourage them
– “Why” doesn’t usually expect an answer – it’s an expression of pain
– Guard the confidentiality of the grieving family – they will express crazy thoughts – protect their grief journey from curious onlookers

Educating Your Congregation:
The following video series is an excellent tool for equipping your congregation for ministry to the bereaved.
Hope for the Hurting, Crisis Care, with Dr. H. Normal Wright.
Available from Grace Products Corporation
1761 International Parkway STE 135, Richardson, TX 75081
Phone: 800-527-4014

For more information about how to be a biblical encourager, read Treasures of Encouragement by Sharon W. Betters. Available through MARK INC Ministries and book stores every where.

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