“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

G.R.A.C.E. - Gently Radiating A Christ-like Example

Grief(s):True or False?

"Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me."

False ~ Words can harm us and harsh tones cut like a sword. When an unbelieving husband speaks like that, your reaction affects your marriage relationship.*

Response:

Your husband may try to oppress you with stronger, threatening, and demanding words. He may try to invalidate you by indicating you are the problem, and no one will take you seriously.

Remember ~ you are a new creature in Christ and have new life in Him. The tone and mettle of your words are continually and critically analyzed by your husband through his unregenerate nature.

Realize ~ he doesn’t have your focus, peace, and worldview and is actually examining the sincerity of your faith.

Retaliation to his unkindness is not an option!

As God molds you into His image, allow Him to use your husband’s hurtful words as an opportunity for you to express unconditional love – even in the wake of unkindness. Call on the Holy Spirit to give you the response that glorifies God and shows your husband the inner strength and power within you.

       DO                                  DON'T
Have Compassion             Control or attack with words
Show Kindness                 Inflict guilt trips
Practice Humility                Call derogatory names
Display a Good Attitude    Blame or fault-find
Exemplify Meekness          Yell
Be Patient                         Use sarcasm or put-downs
Portray Graciousness       Get even

Affirm:

• Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:34b, 35)
• A good person (one saved through grace by faith in Christ) brings forth good, and the evil person (unregenerate/unsaved) brings forth evil.
• A wise man’s mouth wins him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him. (King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 10:12)
• God calls you to set your mind on things that are above (Col. 3:2)
• As evidence of Christ in your life, let your speech be gracious and kind so that your husband may be drawn to Him.

Connect:

Stop, Think, and Recognize:

How do problems occur, under what circumstances, and what are the differences and similarities in your perceptions and thoughts?

Record your 'scorchmarks' ~ problems identified, calmly discussed, and wisely solved. Look for your successful patterns to gain confidence in this area.

Examine your own motives and feelings. Kindness, patience, and forgiveness extended to each other will soon dispel negative feelings and reactions.

Allow time for each of you to change and grow. Applaud the changes of heart in each other.

Our creator God sees our sinful bent and knows that only the power of His Holy Spirit can effect change in our lives.

Equip:
...ask Him to use you to accomplish significant things for His kingdom
...join Him in His work
...have a relationship with Him
...allow Him to mold you
...focus on speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15)
...believe God can work in extraordinary ways

"Words can do good" and "gracious words are pure." (Proverbs 16:24, 26b)

G.R.A.C.E. Gem:

"When you believe that nothing significant can happen through you, you have said more about your belief in God than you have said about yourself. You have said that God is not capable... The truth is that He is able to do anything He pleases with one ordinary person fully consecrated to Him." (P. 25, “Experiencing God” workbook by Blackaby & King)

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
But a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." (Proverbs 15:4)

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