Grief(s):
A woman asks, “Can God make a mistake? Did He allow me to marry the “wrong” man?” Have I made such a mistake (purposely or inadvertently) that I will never be able to fully enjoy family life as it was meant to be or glorify God in it?

Response:
Sovereign is a word that describes God's absolute power, authority, and control over ALL things, those in heaven, and those on earth. God has allowed this circumstance in your life, to mold you into the person he has planned for you to be. Look at the circumstances in Joseph’s life. Although he was chosen by God to fulfill great and high purposes, his life was filled with hardship – separation from loved ones, fear, life in a strange land, insult, slander, a prison term. Yet, God was with him and blessed him, circumcising his heart, developing his character, and blessing the work of his hands. Through a matured Joseph, God spoke love, grace, and forgiveness, into his brother’s lives and saved the nation of Israel. . Genesis 50:19-20 shows Joseph responding to his brothers (who had put him in a pit, and allowed him to be sold as a slave). “You meant it for evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring about this present purpose, the saving of many lives.” God uses both the good and bad, the difficult and the easy circumstances of our lives to mature us and accomplish His good purposes. We can’t always see what God is doing, but we can know that it is always for God’s good plan (see Proverbs 16:1; 16:9, 19:21, and Job 42). Nothing is “out of control”.

Affirm:
You, as a child of God who has accepted Christ as Savior, are where you are because God has placed you in the position of being the wife of an unbelieving husband. It is not a fatal mistake. Job understood who God was, and is. Though he endured tragedy, loss of family and personal bodily affliction, he never blamed God for his circumstance. He came to understand that “no purpose of God can be thwarted”! Don’t allow yourself to feel ashamed to be married to a non-believer or to be looked down on by any of “Job’s Comforters". On the contrary, it is a high calling! Your job is to obey God in all things, speak the truth in love, and live out your witness on a daily personal basis, secure in who you are and Whose you are. It can be a hard position to be in, and you must never forsake the comfort and encouragement that comes from gathering together with the Body of Christ. Sometimes it can become discouraging. Take heart from the life of Jeremiah. Jeremiah’s calling was to prophesy to his people to turn from their idols and sinful immoral behavior, yet he was continually ridiculed by the very people that he loved for his belief in the Holy God of Israel. When he was called, He felt it would be too hard, but God said, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you… to this…, “DO NOT BE AFRAID” “I will be with you”. In the New Testament, Paul also faced many difficult circumstances and hardships, but he thanked Christ Jesus for giving him strength and for considering him faithful knowing he was appointed by God to His service. (I Timothy 1:12). Whatever position in life you are called to fulfill, this is the “good work” that God has prepared beforehand for you to walk in.”! Eph. 2:10

Connect:
God has appointed you as the wife of an unbelieving husband to do the work He predestined for you. Psalm 139 tells us that when God formed us in the womb, His eyes saw our unformed substance, and in His book all the days ordained for us were written! You are in a place that God has planned for you. As you live a life of grace-based intimacy with Jesus Christ, He will equip you for this appointment because He is making you to be the person who will fulfill his purpose, or mission. He has always known you and will be with you to lead you daily in His way everlasting.

Equip: Remember, your best efforts can’t make your husband believe, nor can your worst mistake prevent him from coming to Christ. All you can do is obey God through intimate dependence upon His Son Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit living in you, praying that God will be merciful to your husband and bring Him to the place of salvation. Because God loves us, He puts us in places where we NEED Him, so that we will draw near to Him. God is a jealous God and wants to have fellowship with us because we belong to Him (See 2 Cor. 1:2) Wherever we are is right where He wants us to serve Him. This is a wonderful reason to rejoice! (See 1 Thes. 5:16) You are in the will of God because He made you for the job of being the wife of an unbelieving husband. Do you know that every day your husband has with you is the best day your husband will ever have until He comes to Christ? You may be the closest he ever gets to God, and your intimacy with Christ is your Source to lavish God’s blessing upon your husband in this life - to proclaim the glory of God to him.

1 Corinthians 13 is described as the Love chapter. It is not a to-do list, but rather it should be the character of our loving behavior to our husband as our response of obedience to God’s love for us. When we feel God’s overwhelming love for us it will cause us to respond in the ways that are written in this chapter. Though there may be hard circumstances to work through, God is not oblivious to your need nor does He miss even one of your tears, because God has promised that one day he will wipe away EVERY tear. (Rev. 7:16-17) He is paying attention, and He is there to walk with you.

Dawning Light of GRACE: Picture this - You are a little girl, just learning to waltz. As you dance with one of your brothers, (who are often the BEST tormentors :)) you find yourself, as a girl, dancing backward, and not knowing or seeing where you were going… often backed into furniture and door jambs, and into other people, tripping over each other and creating a hazard for anyone around you as you try to “dance”. NOT a fun experience! Then picture the most loving father-figure you know, who tells you to come, step up on top of his shoes, wrap your arms around his waist, and rest against him, so close that you can hear his heart beat. There is no longer fear – no matter the music – no matter the dance or where you are dancing. He is holding on to you with strong arms and moving you with his perfect timing, with perfect footsteps. Your head is held close and your back is supported with firm hands. It doesn’t matter WHERE you are going. You don’t need to see because experience has proven to you that you can trust him. As you cling to him, you know that it is really He who is holding on to you, and you are safe with him and the dance is wonderful. Jeremiah 13:11 says “For as the waistband clings to the waist of a man, so I made the whole household of Israel and the whole household of Judah to CLING TO ME, declares the Lord, (so) that they might be for Me a people, for renown, for praise, and for glory…" He, is your eternal husbandman, and your loving Abba, Father. He wants you to wrap your arms tight around Him, to cling to Him, to be His trusting child, for His praise, and to show forth His glory WHEREVER He has placed you. You don’t need to see where you are going or fear the journey. He will never let you go, and the dance CAN be exceedingly joyful!

~~~~One woman responded to this presentation this way: As I was reading the scriptures during my personal time with the Lord, God showed me Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I then realized I need to stop looking to my husband to fill a love tank that can only be filled by God.”~~~