Dear Dr. Betters,
When I was 20 years old, I accepted the Lord, but eventually I did not live a christian life. When confronting tough times I eventually would turn to church, but after a while I would go back to the "world". I always wanted to get married and I never sought the Lord in order to guide me or confirm any relationship. So I did get married to a non-christian man and soon I was as wordly as he was.

Then I slid back so bad that I committed adultery... my husband divorced me and to tell the truth I never loved him. I married him because I just wanted to have a secure life. We did not marry in a full gospel church but in a traditional church.

Then I met my actual husband, who was born again, accepted Jesus and I decided to rededicate my life to Christ. Right now we are both serving the Lord and my husband leads the men's ministry in our church. If in any case I was not allowed to remarry, will Jesus forgive me? I sincerely repented for what I did, but what about my actual marriage? Can I remain married? In the meantime my ex-husband remarried already. I am confused... please help me.

Pastor Betters responds:

When you committed adultery in your first marriage you had no grounds for divorce. But your first husband did. He was free to remarry but you were not. When you did remarry you did so in adultery. The second marriage was then viewed by God as a marriage consummated in adultery.

Having said that we need to look at your present standing before God. If you have truly repented of your divorce and the adultery and asked Jesus to cleanse you, then He has forgiven you. However, you will still have to bear the consequences in your present marriage for the fact that you married outside of God's will.a

But this is critical. Your present marriage is viewed by God as a marriage and you cannot divorce your present husband unless he is unfaithful to you or divorces you. You must remained married to him. God expects you to make it work.

There is no unforgivable sin except the rejection of Jesus as Savior and Lord - not even divorce. When Jesus died on the cross all of your sins (including your adultery and divorce) were future to Him. He forgave them all. That is why we call salvation an act of God's grace and mercy.

But God's forgiveness does not mean we do not bear the consequences of our actions. Thus your second marriage most likely will be a struggle with some pain attached. You must bear the consequences and allow God to teach you how to be married His way. I cannot tell you what those consequences will be but you will have some. Yet God can and will bless this marriage as you work hard on it. I hope this helps.

In His Grip,
Dr. Chuck Betters

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