Dear Dr. Betters,
Three years ago my husband of 19 years divorced me. Five months later he had remarried. A year and a half later he was divorced again. He claims he had committed sin/adultery when we divorced and he remarried. He now wants to reconcile, claiming he never stopped loving me and that he has sought and received God's forgiveness. I still love him, however I have a hard time understanding how he could remarry so quickly after our divorce and after having been married to me for that length of time. I am having an extremely difficult time getting past and letting go of this issue in order for us to move forward. I want only what God wants for our lives.

Pastor Betters responds:

The reality of your situation is that you cannot Biblically marry this man. When one is married and then divorces in an unscriptural way (such as is the case with your ex-husband when he divorced you) and subsequently marries another person he does so in adultery. To then divorce the second wife in a manner that is also unscriptural (again as is your ex-husband's case) and marry another (that would be you) would be to marry in adultery. As I see it you have no scriptural right to remarry this man. He must be reconciled to his second wife or remain single just as he should have done when he was married to you and contemplated divorce.

On a more practical note, I would caution anyone against marrying someone who clearly has no desire to assume the responsibility of marriage.

In His Grip,
Dr. Chuck Betters

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