We are a ministry rooted in the reformed faith that offers resources on grief, autism, alcoholism, terminal illness and life crises, as well as hope and help for daily life.

Dear Pastor Betters,
I know in my heart God is real, and I know Jesus gave his life for us to be reborn. I find it so hard to keep living in my faith daily as I want to. Many times I feel I have reached the end of my road in life. I have undergone 3 open heart operations with 14 by passes and again I need another operation.  But many times I feel I would be better by just ending my life.

Jim

Pastor Betters responds:

Dear Jim:

Thanks for your honesty. I really fight the standard cliches we often use as Christians such as "trust God" or "have faith" or even "God is good all the time." When we lost our 16 year old son Mark (our youngest child) in a car accident in 1993 even the scriptures and the hymns seemed to mock us.

I remember being in church one day as the congregation sang "I surrender all, all to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all." My heart said (as did Satan to God concerning Job), "Yeah right, sure you do. But if God pulled the rug out from under would you still trust Him?"

But here I am all these years later still trusting God by grace even though we have had to endure incredible pain from cancer to death. So, I hear you brother. But God is sovereign and you can trust Him. He has entrusted this suffering to you. There are many nonbelievers who also suffer from heart disease as you do. But God has filtered this trial into your life so that you might show the world the difference between how the Christian and the non-Christian responds to these trials.
A few years ago, a dear friend of mine in his 30's learned he had a Stage Four brain cancer. He had but a few months to live. One day he invited me to his house for lunch. He was nearly blind and growing more and more weary. As he sat across the table from me he said, "Chuck, I want to walk my girls (both preteens) down the aisle but I know I will not be able to do that. I need to ask you two questions." I assured him I would do my best to answer them. He looked me square in the eye through his sunglasses and with a sobering voice said, "Chuck, is God really Sovereign?" Not really stunned by this I responded, "Yes, you know He is." Then he raised an even more critical question. He said, "If God is sovereign, can I trust Him?"

He nailed the essence of true faith. God is sovereign and you can trust Him. The real question is, "Will you?" That is where you are, brother. You cannot out give God. No matter what you have to bear in this life, as you do so to glorify God He will owe you nothing because He is debtor to no man. So when you grow weary, beat on His chest. He can take it. He invites your questions. Tell Him you are claiming 1 Corinthians 10:13 and that He promised He will not give you more than you can bear. But keep in mind as you read that verse what God really promised was the grace to endure the trial. He never promised to take it away.

Your trial, though it is for a season, cannot outweigh what God has reserved for you in glory. Until that day you must remain faithful in your pain. In fact, it is in our pain we learn to trust. That is why I often say, "Pain is actually your friend since it teaches how to love and trust your God."

If you will send me your address I will send you some of our resources on suffering for free. I am praying you will not end your life but surrender it to the Master Who will surround you with His love and grace to endure.

In His Grip,
Dr. Chuck Betters

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