Because a Princess Can Do Whatever She Wants
When asking little girls what they want to be when they grow up, I seldom get a response like, “I want to be a maid or a prison guard” or even, ”I just want to be single…” Most of their replies are much like one student of mine, “I want to be a princess because then I can do whatever I want!” Usually the response mirrored my own at that age, “I want to get married, have a family of my own.” My dream never changed… I wonder if God begins preparing us at such an early age for His call on our lives? We know His call doesn’t always match the plans that lie within our young heart’s dream.
It is only natural to guide our children along the same path our lives have taken, especially if we like our lives. A friend of mine has a lovely daughter who she would like to see happily married one day soon. This mother wants her daughter to experience the blessings of a good marriage and the incomparable joy of motherhood. But this is the mother’s dream; her daughter’s desire is to be a missionary and within her heart is a passion to share the Gospel with un-reached people of the world. This wise mom realizes that true peace and happiness comes from our obedience to God’s call and leading in our lives and is keeping her mind focused on that truth. It can be challenging to teach our children to look to the Lord first for the direction in their lives when it seems their direction doesn’t match ours but it is so healthy for them to view life as a wondrous adventure as they discover the gifts God has placed within them, and the work He will call them to do. We must teach our children that where He calls us is where we will find the most enjoyment…if we trust and obey Him. The best way to teach this truth is to live it ourselves.
One way to celebrate all kinds of callings is to include people in our lives who have chosen a pathway that is different from our own. Some see singleness (never been married singleness) as a curse. But God’s Word disagrees.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and to give you a future and a hope…” God told the Israelites that were captive in Babylon that the circumstances they found themselves in were to help them seek and know God in a deeper relationship. So too, whatever state we find ourselves in, we can trust that our relationship with Him is what will bring us real peace and joy.
I’m grateful for the single women who live out Jeremiah 29:11. They choose to see themselves as sisters and aunts in Christ with many opportunties to help “mother” the children of others. Many of these women lead, teach and nurture our younger women. They are legacy builders and have so much to offer. Whenever I remember to include them in some activity I am involved in, they bring a unique depth and passion.
Too often these women are not included because people view them as less than a whole. Yet they long to be enfolded into the fabric of family and church life. They long to feel the embrace of a child or see a teen’s face light up when they enter the room and they want others to value their gift mix as critical for the family to be whole. Invite a single woman to come along on a family outing and observe her chemistry with your children. Two single friends regularly stopped by a family’s home just to hold and rock new born twins because the young mom included them in ministry activities.
When you think about inviting a friend to a special event, invite that single woman to join you for the Christmas Tea, a day in the park or long overdue shopping trip. Give her the opportunity to satisfy God’s call for her to assist in raising the covenant children of your church by giving her opportunities to interact with your children.
I thank God for the single women in my life who are living a testimony of trust and faith in our Lord as they wait on His timing to provide a husband. Although busy with life and service, they thoroughly enjoy celebrating with couples, working with children, and living out God’s call on their lives. So many times our churches and religious community focuses on couples and children but the covenant is inter- generational. How many blessings we miss when we neglect to build relationships with single women. Their stories and life lessons can greatly impact our children.
And about those little girls who want to be princesses. Whether single or married, when we are daughters of the King, that dream comes true! No, we don’t get to do whatever we want unless our desire is to please our King. When we welcome all of our sisters into our daily lives, whether single or married, we discover the beauty of each of our callings. We cheat ourselves of fuller, deeper lives when we neglect such an important part of our family. How do you include single women in your family life? And single women, how do you connect with married women?
Written by: Sherry Bitler