Giving Grace


Gently Radiating A Christlike Example

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)


My husband treats me like I have no sense, and often disrespects me in front of others. This angers me, undermines my thoughts and respect for him, and I want to treat him the same way!


Sure you do! The reasons for the grudges he is holding may never be known. A wounded, hurting heart

~tends to lash out,

~takes up for itself,

~blames your husband,

~and responds similarly.

Instead, let the Holy Spirit guide your heart through the grid of scripture.

Have you talked with God about your reactions? How did Jesus react when he was disrespected? He never responded to others in an unloving manner, even when provoked because His heart was always in tune with His Father. Is your heart in tune with Him?

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22, 23 (NIV)



Searching our heart for the truth of our motives and responses enables the Holy Spirit to reveal a root of bitterness.

~Are you willing?

~Do you have faith for change?

~Do you know the One at the center of that transformation?

Lack of respect toward your husband, resenting him for hurting you, and withholding kindness and love from him will only continue to feed the hurt and cause bitterness to root in your heart.

Mercy triumphs over judgment!

James 2:13 says that judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful, and He warns us to truly love one another by forgiving, loving others as ourselves, being truthful, and expressing our real feelings.

With God and His Word as the core of our being, we have faith for daily living. We will be able to discern our own heart and enable

God’s power to flow over our spirit and heal our wounds.

An intimate relationship with God

~ keeps our thinking pure,

~ counters attacks from others,

~ allows us to exercise faith

and respond with love, gentleness, kindness and mercy.


The Proverbs are important to know and practice in our lives…

* A pure heart has gracious speech (Proverbs 22:11a).

* Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body (Proverbs 16:24).

* Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32 ESV).

* Guard your heart for it affects everything you do:

…avoid perverse talk,

…stay away from corrupt speech,

…don’t get sidetracked,

… and keep your feet from following evil (Proverbs 4:23, 27).

* Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing (Proverbs 12:18).

Equip: God gives good advice in Colossians 4:5, 6 ~

~Be wise in the way we act toward unbelievers;

~Make the most of every opportunity,

~Let your conversation always be filled with grace.

*Let your conversation always be filled with grace, seasoned with salt, so that you know how to answer everyone.

When praying for our husbands, be in union with God’s view. Take your fears and hurts to God first, listen to Him, and your heart will heed his wisdom. God has given you the Holy Spirit for holy living and for holy thinking.

God’s Word shapes our thinking, guides our choices, and we discover His way is better! Your husband may listen better to your concerns if you are not attacking. Don’t you listen better when someone is not attacking you?

G.R.A.C.E. Gem:

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody” ~ Romans 12:17 (NIV)

Additional Resources:

  • The Proverbs in the Bible
  • When Life and Beliefs Collide, Carolyn Custis James, Zondervan Publishers
  • Gaining Through Losing, Evelyn Christenson, Victor Books
  • What’s So Amazing About GRACE?, Philip Yancey, Harper Collins/Zondervan