Betrayal
by Karen Grant
Today’s Treasure
Then the people answered, “Far be it from us to forsake the Lord to serve other gods! It was the Lord our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled.
Joshua 24:16-17
I lay awake, reviewing the well-trod territory of a devastating betrayal with life-changing consequences. Years before, a work partner laid the groundwork for a takeover by intentionally salting relationships with false spins about recent organizational decisions. As often happens, we were among the last to know. He denied all knowledge and turned the focus on others, demanding to know who was spreading false rumors. To shorten a story many of you in any sort of leadership will find familiar, by the time we separated, our reputations were tarnished and his heroic. One of our choices was to refrain from justifying ourselves by responding with our side of the story, so only one version became public.
Was there sin on our part? Oh, yes. Anger, asking for help from those who did know the facts – who weren’t leaders and for whom controversy of any kind was so wounding it was wrong to expect their defense – and yet we pushed for it. After years of attempting to repent, to forgive, and to talk and meet again without rancor, God healed the original hurt and has restored peace between us.
Then one day I saw one who crossed the road to avoid me, and the specter reemerged. How could a friend have believed such untruths? The circle reforms and sets off like a wheel bouncing down the road – too fast to catch, unrestrained.
Remember the song, “Will the Circle be Unbroken?” Originally written by Ada Habershon, it centers on the solemn reckoning: will you join your departed loved ones in heaven when your seat at the family table becomes empty? The song is a classic – simultaneously mournful and hopeful, it’s been re-interpreted by others like the Carter Family and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I wouldn’t attempt to improve on any of its lyrical incarnations, but it does beg an interesting question. What about “hamster-wheel” obsessions - circles that should be broken?
For me, the betrayal I described has been a long struggle. If it’s not yours, possibly you could apply the concept to a struggle of your own – one that continues to rear its ugly head. Is there a victorious repentance/acquiescence? Is there grace for the wound that remains unhealed?
In Joshua 24, the people of God committed to serve and obey in a covenant renewal. To Joshua’s call to choose whom they will serve, they responded in verses 16-17
Far be it from us that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods, for it is the Lord our God who brought us and our fathers up from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery …
Joshua counters with a startling reply in verse 19
You are not able to serve the Lord, for he is a holy God.
Like pricking a balloon at the climax of a celebration, the ebullient crowd must have grown silent. Did Joshua mean there’s no hope? After 200 years in bondage, and forty more circling in the desert, was this the final word for their future? Then Joshua laid out the ways they would suffer if they went back on their pledge and cautioned them to incline their hearts to the Lord. Buoyed up by the unified voices of their neighbors standing together in the Promised Land, they dared to think, “I will never depart from God’s ways!”
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
We can apply this passage to our own desert wanderings when we’re caught in seemingly unbreakable circles of despair over betrayals.
We can admit that we can’t do this. We could try techniques to feel peaceful, push away discordant thoughts and sinful tendencies, and pray till we’re blue in the face, but we can’t break the cycle without an intervention of the grace we ourselves have received. So, for today, we must admit the truth. “Father, I cannot on my own break this cycle. It has become a bondage. Standing in the promised land of your forgiveness toward me, I am yet in the bondage of unforgiveness toward another. Help me, Holy Spirit. I have nothing to bring but my need.”
This is the first step in the right direction, and for today, that is enough.
PRAYER
Father, I struggle with letting go of pain inflicted by others. I have tried every method for breaking the cycle but just when I think I have forgiven, something reminds me of the hurt. So, for today, I admit my sinful responses and acknowledge I have nothing to offer You except for my need.
Karen Grant loves being a pastor’s wife at Parish Presbyterian Church. She and her husband have three grown children and 6 amazing grandsons. A graduate of Covenant Seminary, she also served on the PCA’s multicultural church planting and mercy committee. She and her husband co-founded Franklin Classical School in Franklin, Tennessee, where she continues to serve on the board of trustees. She enjoys studying & teaching the Bible, reading, traveling, cooking, working out with her exercise buddies, and all God’s creation.
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